Da Bible of Chard

A loose gathering of sayings, dim witness, village exaggerations, and those fragments which should perhaps have been allowed to fade.
UNOFFICIAL CANON · MARGIN COPIES SURVIVE
This text concerneth Chard: not wholly villain, not wholly fool, but one of those local figures who pass from ordinary nuisance into folklore by slow and regrettable degrees.
The First Book

Chapter I · Of the Place First Spoken Of

1:1 In earlier days, before the story had hardened into recital, there was spoken among certain people the name of Chard, though seldom in tones of clean approval.

1:2 And he was remembered not for greatness, nor for ruin, but for a kind of persistence which outlived explanation.

1:3 Around him there was always some setting half-improvised and never quite dignified, and yet men referred to it later as though it had been a place of consequence.

1:4 Whether this place was pit, shelter, court, or merely an unfortunate corner is no longer agreed upon.

1:5 But the witnesses concur in this: that it was damp in spirit, narrow in promise, and sufficient somehow for the continuance of Chard.

1:6 Thus the first layer of the matter was laid down, shabby in detail yet strangely durable in memory.

And some said only, “He was there again,” and others answered, “Aye, that figures.”
The Common Sayings

Chapter II · Of Speech That Gathereth More Than It Explains

2:1 One token by which Chard was known was his manner of speech, for he addressed men, objects, mishaps, and passing conditions with the same strange confidence.

2:2 His words gave often the impression of leadership after the leadership itself had wandered off.

2:3 He spake as one forever opening a meeting that no one recalled agreeing to attend.

2:4 There were certain phrases much repeated in association with him, though scribes differ on their exact form and degree of menace.

  • A greeting that suggested unity where none had been established.
  • A correction issued before the matter itself had been understood.
  • A summons to order from one poorly suited to create it.
  • A “quick word” that seldom remained quick.
  • A bleak acknowledgment that conditions were, indeed, not ideal.

2:5 Thus his sayings endured, not because they were wise, but because they hung in the air like smoke in a low room.

2:6 And people remembered less what was meant than the feeling that something inconvenient had just been declared official.

The Outer Places

Chapter III · Of Firelight, Trees, and Other Stages Fit for Uneasy Memory

3:1 There are places where foolishness should dissolve: by the trees at evening, beside a low fire, under weather honest enough to strip pretence from a man.

3:2 Yet the lore witnesseth that even such places did not wholly reject Chard.

3:3 Rather they altered him, so that he seemed less like a mere nuisance and more like a thing already halfway translated into tale.

3:4 For beyond the warm ring of light, where figures blur and tone outruns fact, his sort of presence is made stronger.

3:5 And many have known the discomfort of feeling that someone unsuitable stands just outside the conversation, waiting for the wrong moment to become part of it.

3:6 In this way the outer places did not cleanse the matter, but dressed it in darker clothing.

And the woods kept their dignity, yet not entirely their peace.
The Darker Leaves

Chapter IV · Of Turns in Temper and Shapes Poorly Accounted For

4:1 It must be recorded that the matter was not always comic.

4:2 For there were seasons in which laughter stepped back and left only unease to occupy the room.

4:3 At such times Chard seemed altered less in body than in arrangement, as though the parts were all present but badly reassembled.

4:4 His stillness became intrusive, his timing abominable, his nearness difficult to justify.

4:5 Witnesses speak in careful vagueness of doorways, wall-edges, corners, and that unpleasant sense of being observed by someone with no useful purpose.

4:6 Some named these episodes. Others refused names altogether, knowing that names are hooks by which a thing may cling harder.

4:7 But all agree that the room itself seemed to notice him, and not kindly.

And there are presences ridiculous by daylight which, by evening, become a different sort of problem.
The Restless Passages

Chapter V · Of Motion, Over-Speaking, and the Refusal to Arrive at a Point

5:1 There was also upon him, from time to time, a condition of excess: too much speech for the subject, too much confidence for the evidence, too much momentum for the route chosen.

5:2 Then would one matter flow into another without bridge, border, or apology.

5:3 It was as if every small notion believed itself destined to become revelation, though none possessed the strength.

5:4 Rooms wearied of this. Conversations bent around it. The patient discovered the limits of patience.

5:5 Yet he pressed onward with the assurance of a man mistaking noise for progress and movement for command.

He began everywhere at once and therefore arrived nowhere with remarkable energy.
The Mixed Witness

Chapter VI · How the Matter Refused Clean Judgment

6:1 Here lieth the chief perplexity: that Chard cannot be profitably sorted among the simple categories.

6:2 For there was in him something intrusive, something faintly cursed, something inclined always to arrive with the wrong energy.

6:3 Yet there was also something local and almost tender in the repetition of him, as with an old nuisance too woven into the place to be cleanly hated.

6:4 Thus men mocked him, avoided him, quoted him, half-defended him, and carried him onward into memory against their own better instincts.

6:5 For some figures survive not by merit, but by becoming inseparable from the atmosphere around them.

Closing Verses

Chapter VII · A Modest Warning Unto the Reader

7:1 If thou hast read thus far, thou art already too near the edge of the thing.

7:2 For such lore, once admitted, doth not depart in tidy fashion.

7:3 It lingers in jokes, in silences, in badly timed remarks, and in the strange afterlife of ordinary phrases.

7:4 Therefore reckon gently with any voice that sounds too familiar in an unsuitable place.

7:5 And if thou encounter some underwhelming corner invested with more story than it deserves, pass on without enquiry.

Here endeth the present copy, though not, one suspects, the matter itself.